Posts Tagged ‘surving the loss of a pet’

Cuddly Pet Memorials

What do you think of the new craze sweeping the pet world – soft and cuddly pet urns?

With up to 70% of all pets being cremated many people are looking for better ways of interring their beloved pet. After all, having your pet in cold hard metal monument seems a little removed.

Patricia Moore lost Samatha the dog and decided to recreate the way we view pet urns.

soft hearted urns

No longer are they cold, hard, and often ugly urns.  Now they are cute, soft and practical.

The idea proved so popular with Patricia’s friends that they managed to persuade her to put  her “Soft-Hearted” pillows into production.And now you too have the option of keeping your pets close to your heart with the huggable urns.

Sleeping with your pets ashes has taken off with the “Soft-Hearted” brand of pillow.  The pillows are made from soft microfibre which are guaranteed to keep the ashes locked safely inside.

The pillows are able to accommodate the ashes of a pet of up to 150 pounds.  However, with larger animals some pet-lovers opt to just keep a portion of the pets remains in the pillow in order to minimize the Soft-Hearted pillow’s weight.

You can expect the pillow to feel soft, although it will have a firm “heart” that you may or may not feel depending on the size of your pet. The pillow itself is about 4 inches thick and 14 inches square.

So what do you think of the cuddly pet urns?

Are you in favour of keeping your pet much closer to your heart after it passes, or do you think this is just another crazy fad (one that the majority of pet lovers seem to be opting for) ?


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This kindly friend of mine who’s passed
Beyond the realm of day,
Beyond the realm of darkling night,
To unknown bourne away
Was one who deemed my humble home
A palace grand and fair;
Whose fullest joy it was to find
His comrade ever there.
Ah! He has gone from out my life
Like some dear dream I knew.
A man may own a hundred dogs,
But one he loves, and true.


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When We Two Parted

When we two parted

In silence and tears,

Half broken-hearted,

To sever for years,

Pale grew thy cheek and cold,

Colder thy kiss;

Truly that hour foretold

Sorrow to this!

The dew of the morning

Sunk chill on my brow;

It felt like the warning

Of what I feel now.

The vows are all broken,

And light is thy fame:

I hear thy name spoken

And share in its shame.

They name thee before me,

A knell to mine ear;

A shudder comes o’er me –

Why wert thou so dear?

They know not I knew thee

Who knew thee too well:

Long, long shall I rue thee

Too deeply to tell.

In secret we met:

In silence I grieve

That thy heart could forget,

Thy spirit deceive.

If I should meet thee

After long years,

How should I greet thee?

With silence and tears.

By Lord Byron


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The full impact of pet loss is often not appreciated.

Too long people have had to grieve the loss of their pet in silence – keeping a stiff upper lip.

The reality is that often people are affected more greatly by the loss of their pet than they are when losing a parent.

There are a number of reasons that the grief for a pet can be more acute than for a person. Pets for example, are able to love unconditionally. They place few demands on the relationship (food and companionship usually the extent of their demands).

It is often therefore easier to develop a bond with a pet that is greater than that which we experience with other humans in our lives.

Unfortunately the support that we receive in times of pet loss often does not reflect the significance of this bond. Reactions range from “it was just an animal” to “its no big deal – get another one.”

We cannot go to our boss and ask for time off work to grieve without being subjected to humiliation. It is not normal for people to send flowers, or cards. We do not hold public funerals.

This general response of ignoring the tragedy by society at large only increases the sense of loss and helplessness that a pet owner faces.

The death of a pet can also trigger other grief that compounds the feeling of loss. For example it may die in a manner similar to that of a parent, or it may have been the favorite pet of a recently deceased spouse. These kinds of memories and emotions trigger overwhelming responses that an outsider will not understand or appreciate.

Two groups often affected the most are children and elderly.

To a child a pet is often a surrogate parent – left with much of the baby sitting duties by two busy parents. They become a companion that is often with them they have their greatest personal triumphs. Losing the pet they have spent much of their short lives with is often their first experience with death and is often misunderstood.

Elderly, like children, often find that most of their time is spent with a pet. Many times caring for their pet will become their sole purpose for living. The pet is also often the only link to their past, especially if they have lost their spouse and have moved into a care facility.
soft hearted pillow

Dealing with the loss of a pet is different for everyone.

Some of the common ways to assist a family member or friend to cope with their loved pet include: recognizing the significance of the pet in their lives; being open to talking about their pet if that is what they want; creating a memorial that will help give closure and an ability to express the grief they feel, as well creating something that will allow their memories to live on.

One thing that you must not do, especially with children is lie. Do not say the animal is sleeping or has gone away. This will often create a fear in a child that sleep is permanent or that when a family member goes away they may not come back.

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Pet memorials serve more than to “mark the spot.”
Don’t fall prey to these common myths surrounding the loss of your pet.

Robin Jean Brown exposes 14 myths that are commonly associated with pet loss.

If you’re still holding onto any of the 14 myths of grief…’s comforting guide is absolutely for you.

  • Myth#11: Children handle pet death rather easily. The experience will not be carried over into adult life.
  • Myth#12: It is best to protect children from the upsetting truth of what has happened to their pet.
  • Myth#13: Pets don’t mourn for other pets.

Not only are the 14 common myths exposed, Robin Jean Brown also answers the common questions raised surrounding the loss of a pet.

For instance How do you know when the time is right to put your pet to sleep. Get this right…and your furbaby will pass on humanely. Learn how to prepare, what happens during euthanasia, and how to cope emotionally (and how to help your pet cope). (Page 111)

Or maybe you think you are abnormal and want to know Why you feel so much hurt and pain. Why you can be assured that it’s not crazy or unusual for you to be feeling this way. (Page 54)

If you have a young family it is crucial to know What to do if a child’s pet dies. Make a mistake, and your child’s grief can become worse. Handle this correctly, and it will ease your child’s experience and help them cope and fully recover. (Page 102)

One of the keys to surviving pet loss is knowing How to get the help you need from other people. Have you noticed that most people are dismissive of you and don’t seem to understand the pain you’re going through? Does it seem like they’re often more polite than they are truly empathetic? You’ll learn the secrets to knowing what to ask for. (Page 85)

Does it seem like you’re all alone in the world?
It doesn’t have to be that way. Robin explains how and why your friends and family really want to help you, and gives you an action plan to ask them, the right way, and make the people around you into your own support group (Page 82).

Make plans now! So you will know What happens when a pet dies? Robin explains all the options — including cremation, pet cemetery burial, at-home burial, pet preservation, veterinary disposal…and even a collection of alternative memorials. (Page 127) That way you’ll have peace of mind that you know exactly what to do when faced with this unpleasant…yet necessary…task.

This book is loaded with all the information you and your family will need to know to survive the grief of pet loss, and will help you to ensure the mental well-being essential to recovery.


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